Recognize Your Tormentors
Things were not going well for a couple who had been married for ten years. Their children were giving them grief, their financial pressures had no end, they had ongoing health problems, and there was continual tension in their marriage.
I asked them numerous questions, trying to identify the source of their problems. As we talked, I discovered that they had not been on speaking terms with their parents for many years because of things that their parents had done to hurt them. While this couple had legitimate grievances, the problems they were experiencing were not a result of what their parents had done; they were a result of their failure to forgive their parents.